This is a rant about how I’m experiencing God, Church, work, school and social life in the age of COVID-19. This is my honest thoughts. I needed to just write to get in a better place after a hard week. Before I begin, let me just note that this is not meant to read as a litany of complaints. I’m just telling my truth. Here it is. I’m tired. I need in-person church, a therapist, a raise and some respect! (Usually this list would include rest but I’ve been enjoying that more!)

Here we go: I have different spiritual needs than people who golf and bike and live a retired life. COVID-19 has forced me to work harder and longer. While I’m blessed to be employed, it’s created new professional challenges. Online classes got harder all of sudden. It seems like I have more time but that’s clouded by less boundaries. The lines were less blurry back “then.” Y’all, I need Jesus. I’m not too deep to admit that I need to go to physical church. I need to see and be connected with other believers. I had to repent to God for taking the privilege of being with other believers for granted. It became so routine and I was just going through the motions. I’m going to do better.

Back to needing some church in my life. I know that this sentiment will be met with a bunch of cliches and biblical interpretations about the church just being a building, but it’s not really about the building. It’s about what the building represents and the people there. Maybe we are in a season where God wants us to become more dependent on personal relationship. Maybe the senior saints are thriving! I don’t know if I am.

So, I’ve got to think differently about this season. I’ve also been altering how and what I pray for! I’m trusting God for deeper connections with people. I am asking God to give leaders innovative ways to help believers connect. I’m availing myself to be used by God and not to be a hinderer of new ways of thinking and doing. I’m praying for better balance and less order. I’m praying for peace and the reminder that some have it worse. I’m praying a specifically that hard-working Black men get a break. It’s not that other men and women don’t need one. I just know where I’m at!